This happened a day or two ago and I wanted to share it with you.

Ah, yes. God's wonderful creatures. The beauty of nature is all around us. Especially on the highway...

So Lara and I are driving around in the familiar humidity of dank blue evening air and grooving to Asian techno.

"Look!" I cry.

"There's a turtle back there.. and he's battling the cars and he could get hit! WE'VE GOT TO SAVE HIM!"

Passionate as I was, and as demonstrative as I may have sounded, I had all sincere and good intentions. In the back of my mind I was truly concerned about the fate of the little green ambulatory shell making its way throw the chaos of cars.

Lara and I decide that saving the turtle is the only thing for moral girls like us to do, and so I hop out of the car, run down the turn lane (looking quite frantic and ridiculous in a skirt) and approach the moss covered creature. With great benevolence, I lean over - risking my life for the sake of this lovely green thing - and gently pick up the turtle by the edges of its shell. And that's when it starts HISSING at me. No longer is this the embodiment of zoo innocence and childish cartoon characters, this is... THE DEMONIC SNAPPING TURTLE FROM HELL!

It's once hidden head is now flashing out in snaps of violence and there I am standing in the middle of the street waiting for Lara to circle back around - just standing there holding this shell up like I'm exalting some sort of green god.

There is, from what I discern at my distraught state in time, nothing else to do with the turtle but bring it in the car. Returning to it's vehement ways, the turtle begins swimming in the air and hissing infernally. So, not knowing what precautions one should take with an angry snapping turtle, I set it down on the dashboard where it begins strutting about with such superiority and snapping with such threatening noises that Lara and I freak out. The turtle almost plummets into her lap but lands by her feet. It hisses some more and does it's violent turtle talent act before crawling under her brakes. Helpless to stop, for fear of crushing the turtle (he is still a living, breathing, being, you know), we glide down the streets of a neighborhood with only a prayer in our hearts and a turtle at our feet.

All this time I am laughing in an uproar and trying to lure the turtle out with my bottle of water. Finally, we coast to a stop and I run out of the car to the other side, fling the door open and crouch down with a hairbrush nudging the turtle out. Inevitably, he shows his obvious discontent by a series of ominous actions - hissing, snapping, staring me in the eyes like I mean nothing to him and he could easily devour me with one amoral chomp and not even feel a cent of remorse afterwards.

Luckily for us, a man is jogging close by and stops to observe the commotion. Though he is just an ordinary passerby, he personifies a magnanimous prince the moment of offers to save us from the now odious turtle. With great skill he catches the turtle and throws it in the grass. Lara and I drive off in laughter and the reverberations of techno and think "Hey - it's better than in the street."