listening to anniversary - designing a nervous breakdown (sounds like a week at summercamp)

eating cold black olive pizza (eats like watching saturday morning cartoons)

I greet the morning with a smile and a contradicting yawn. Today at one, I get to go to the Italian Club of Tulsa's dinner! Yay! Some lady, who's apparently a member, read my column in Satellite last week (which you can read if you like by going here: http://www.tulsaworld.com/SatelliteGravyStory.asp?ID=020809_Sa_d1satgrav. Well, the column was about how much I love Italy and how I want to go live there for a while to be a vagrant photographer making future museums and historical journeys with my camera and my heart. And write. And be the poor artist, the lonely poet, the grown up girl still enamored with all aspects of this beautiful life. So anyway, when I called the lady back, she started asking me if I knew all these people (I guess people webbed into the Italian network of Tulsa). I said I didn't and she sort of sounded put out. I can just see myself going and feeling like a total poser. Here they are asking me all these technical questions and all I'll be able to say is that passion is my only answer. And that's a good enough one for me.

I guess I never really mentioned how Modest Mouse and The Anniversary were.

I went to OKC the 15th and they were both insanely incredible like a god exploding into a star. The Anniversary played first, and with this hippy vibrancy that floated the notes in smoke and trances. They mostly played new stuff, which was OK. But their older album is a bit more significant to me, if only because it's the representative for my life a few years ago. Connotes maudlin memories and all that jazz. But man they were good. Adrienne, the girl, is so awesome. She just beats it all out and jams the keyboards with corrective love and total emancipation. All the music connecting constellations......

And Modest Mouse? Wow. Ineffable.

I hung out with Margo yesterday. We went over to Justin's (one of her friends) apartment so Margo could cut his hair. It's so great, she has these pastel pink scissors that remind me of a fifties salon like we should all be wearing hairnets and gossiping about the monotony of our life but saying words with such artificial enthusiasm as to mask the the realities inside us. Justin lives in a sort of ghetto-ish apartment. We all piled into this small bathroom aglow in a dusky yellow. I took pictures of everything - sort of a urban life documentary. I have great hopes for how they will turn out. Justin's roommate is quite amusing. He claims to be a great intellectual. He also boasted he has the power to get any girl he wants. Just sway with mysticism and smile and bam - girlfriend. I guess? I listened to his conversation on the phone, which was a retelling of how he made out with some girl last night, a retelling via profanity. Later on, while looking in the mirror and shaving he said, "I don't mean to brag. But I'm a fucking genius." Perhaps so, but not a very eloquent one. After Margo had finished, we left to go over to Dave's house. That kid cracks me up. He's living with his parents now (which is good for him, I think. Hopefully he'll steer clear of drinking and whatnot). His room is so barren and neat, and tidy, and he has the same strawberry shampoo I do for the love!

He needs some sort of sign of individuality gracing the walls. I laid on his floor and Margo looked at his records and he laughed at us and then we all left to go to Gardner's. As we walked out his mom asked him when he was going to do the laundry. I couldn't help but smile. Due to my impressive hunger, we took a detour to Smoothie King on the way, where we ran into Chris and Kevin, carrying identical to go boxes from Zios filled with some sort of culinary masterpiece. When Dave saw them he put on his "cool musician facade" and acted like he didn't know me. He stood there trying to embody some sort of musical myth roaming the streets with a lyrical intensity beyond comprehension. Ooooh. Good band name: Some Sort of Musical Myth. (Kind of like Some Sort of Palindrome) Anyway, we left Smoothie King after I had placated my tummy. At Gardner's we saw Brendan. It's been so long since I've seen him. It wasn't exactly weird. It was just different. Like we had jumped ahead in times and this was a different century, but we tried to be the same people.

James called me last night and I came over to find A, Christianne, Jill, James and I all sitting in her room in the dark saying random things such as "I have wax in my mouth," and "WE COULD HAVE A VESPA FLAG!" This procession of random phrases soon evolved into what is now the incipient stage of brilliance. Soon enough, this mystery will be unveiled. If you ever see me with a ribbon dancer, you will understand what I mean. The Power Rangers really never did die out, and the silly thoughts of girls have no boundaries.

p.s. i posted a few poems. Rather low-quality, but short and easy to read